The other day I was talking to a friend about how things are going with our current journey of trying to grow our family through adoption. I was asked "Is there anything about Leah's adoption that you wish would have been different?" Without hesitation I answered, "Yes, I really wish I could meet her birth parents."
Leah's adoption is considered a closed adoption, this was the birth parents' decision. We never met the birth parents, we don't know their names, we only know what little medical history they provided for us on a form they filled out. In fact, they really didn't even choose us to be the parents, the agency we went through did. At first we thought that this would be easier and that it was the perfect set up for our family. We even had friends and family say "isn't it better that way?" Three years ago when we brought Leah home I wasn't sure about the answer to that question. Now I am!!
Everyday when I look at Leah I know that she is meant to be in our family and that the Lord had his hand in bringing her to us. I also look at her and wonder how her birthparents are doing? What do they look like (especially since she looks just like us)? Do they worry about whether or not Leah is having the life that they hoped for? From there the list goes on and on. I have never met them, but I have a deep love for them. There is a part of my heart that is reserved for when I can throw my arms around them and tell them thank you for answering our prayers and bringing this miracle into our lives. I want to reassure them that Leah is strong and healthy, and that she has a good life in a loving home. When the day comes that Leah decides she wants to seek them out and meet them we will be right by her side helping her with just as much nervousness, excitement, and probably even a little fear of the unknown. I can't wait until that day comes!
So to answer the question is it better that way...for the birth parents...maybe (I can't really answer for them)...for me...no, but that is where I have to put my selfish desires aside to respect their wishes. So for now until we meet Leah's birth parents, I will continue to hug every birth parent I meet and tell them thank you.
Awww,that's beautiful. I hope the birth parents to Leah know some day how sweet and loving you both are to that beatiful little child.
ReplyDeleteWow! That was beautiful! I totally love your perspective and look forward to future posts. What a blessing for Leah to have found you! All my blessings!
ReplyDeleteMaggie
www.freezermealsforus.blogspot.com
Michelle, this is beautifully expressed. I wouldn't change anything about the way Olivia came to us, but I've felt a little sad that we didn't get to build a relationship with her birth parents beforehand. We do have a relationship with her birth mom--and are so grateful for that--but not with her birth dad (his decision, not ours). I hope someday that Olivia will get to meet him. He's a pretty neat guy. And I love that she knows Alyssa, her birth mom. I hope you'll have the opportunity to meet Leah's birth parents someday!
ReplyDelete